Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dreamer Mode

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Ecclesiastes.
"What is done under the sun was grievous to me, for all is vanity and a striving after wind...All the toil of man is for his mouth, yet his appetite is not satisfied."

Life is meaningless yo.

I dont know if this is winter quarter blues, or just a quater-life crisis, but i'm not a happy camper. I think I'm just chasing after fleeting things and realizing i'm stupid for having those goals. or maybe i'm just having a surge of estrogen levels after eating like a pound of edamame from work.

Freshmen year there was a pretty big deal about the whole myers brigg personality test. I remember cadengo and amos memorized everyones personality type(ie estj, intj, yadada), and they would categorize everyone and their actions by their personality types. "You WOULD say that, you ESTJ." haha anyways, when i took the test freshmen year i was an ESTJ. I was pretty confident that those letters accurately depicted who i was. Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging.

But, this weekend i just wanted to take the test again, cause i heard some people's personality type could change. and i ended up being an esfj...ESFJ???! I felt like i was less of a man. F?? Feeler? I had pride believing that i only let logic and clear objective thinking to motivate my actions..but i realized that instead my actions and thoughts were being motivated by my feelings and emotions?? SICK. but the more i thought about it and after reading the esfj personality page, im coming more to peace about crossing over.

"ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others... They value security and stability...They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control."

I definitely became a people person in college. And i think it's bad, cause now i rely on human interaction in order to be content with life. But the more i seek out human interaction the more i realize that my need for people will never be satisfied. I think other people struggle with this too, just by looking at the amount of people who are constantly on facebook/aim.( i mean honestly, i know you guys get giddy seeing that notification icon on the bottom right of your screen.) Humans thirst for the approval/interaction of others.

The world is a sad place. People are always reaching and chasing for the next temporary pleasure and satisfaction, only to be distracted by a newer and better things to go for. A better internship, a better car, better friends, a newer hobby. and after spending a whole lifetime amassing wealth, dreams, and goals...you die.

The world needs Jesus.

I need Jesus.

More of you and less of me

p.s. im a happy person, just once in a while i think sad things.
back to ecclesiastes - "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven" I guess this is "a time to break down" but on the flip side, there is "a time to build up"(ecc. 3:3). amen.


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I miss myeongdong gyoza. the perfect mandoo.

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I want a motorcycle. R6 or gsxr please.

3 comments:

  1. oh wow. your first two pictures are crazy

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  2. hey I have to make you dinner soon. I didn't forget.

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  3. oh wow. your first two pictures are crazy.

    haha. jk. i have more to say than that.

    i like the third picture too. and. i'm glad you're thinking about these things lately andrew. you are in a good place right now, to be challenged, to be stretched, to be humbled, and to grow. take the most of this opportunity. and never give up no matter what. even when you reach difficult times in your striving after God and forsaking of the world, persevere.

    and yes, i agree. we all need Jesus.

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